Getting Outside My Head

Yes, I am happy. Those who know me...know they do not hear that too much from me.

I feel now that I have been honest with myself and GOD over the past several months that I have found peace and happiness.

It has not been an easy road but well worth it. Something inside me had been calling me to Irving Bible Church, IBC, but I knew I was not ready. It took me awhile to walk through the door but once I did I knew I was home. I cried through every service for about the first seven months...yes, seven months. Tears of sorrow, guilt, happiness...tears. I was finally able to admit I could not do it alone.

I became involved with activies in the church that helped others and also had to be humbled and accept assistance. I joined a group to help me mentally and also had to attend activities that helped me financially. The people are so welcoming and I feel like I have never met a stranger and never been judged.

I want to share with you another humbling act. When I bought my house I knew the fence needed to be replaced. I had hoped to get it done in May. However, with the high winds we have had my fence blew down. Not only did I not have the money to replace it, I had to fly out on emergency to Maryland to help my mother. A week before I knew I had to fly out, I finally emailed the church and asked for help. All the quotes I had received were too high and I was afraid my HOA would start sending letters. So, I sucked it up and asked for help.

My email was given to a mens group. While in Maryland I received a call from my angel, Tom, that he and his group had read my email and wanted to help. In the email I has asked for either another quote or I would pay for materials if someone would help me build. He stated he had 10 men ready to go and I did not need to be there. I was so overwhelmed.

It rained those weekends. So, when several trucks and 11 men showed up at 9:00am on a Saturday I was home. Molly and I were stunned at all these men that gave up their time to help us. They would not let me help, instead they told me to go inside and enjoy my daughter since I had been away from her so long. They would only accept coffee and water, they would not even let my buy lunch. They worked till 5 or 6 and on Sunday at 9 they were back. By 5 that evening few were left but the fence was not complete so they came back the following Sunday. My angel, his son and Brad finished the fence. It is the most beautiful thing!

When I asked how much all the materials were so I could pay him he answered..."Oh....nothing...". The entire mens group had donated money and some money and time and covered the entire expense. I just cried. My thanks just do not seem to be enough to me but they said it was plenty.

This group of men had never volunteered to do anything like this before. My angel stepped up and organized everyone and got it done. He also said he was going to come back and fix some other things he noticed.

I really did not have the money for the fence so this it such a blessing. He said I had enough on my plate and did not need to worry about the house as well. I just can't tell you how wonderful these men are and how they have impacted my life.

Thank you to everyone that helped and prayed. I am still speachless.

With all that has happened over the past 12 months...I feel like now is the time. Molly and I will be baptized on Easter Sunday at IBC. It brings tears to my eyes to write this. We are both ready.

Thank you GOD for all you have done for me and others.