Yes, I am still here. So much has gone on that I do not even know where to start.
Molly's birthday parties were great. She had one at school and one at the park. It is so hard to believe she is two years old. She is growing up too fast! She is so amazing. She learns so fast. At school they want to advance her but I am not sure. I think I will let her try it out a few days a week and go from there.
She LOVES to sing. My parent's got her a kareoke(sp) machine for her birthday and she loves it. She sings and sings. I could listen to her for hours and hours.
She is a happy little girl that has her own way of doing things. It is great.
My friend and I have been struggling for months now and it just did not work out. I really wanted it too but I think I was trying to change me to suit him and that is not good. I wish him the best. He is great guy and will be a great husband and father several years down the road.
Also...if things weren't aleady going great, Molly's biological father is taking me to court to lower child support. Yep. He had every chance to tell me he was going to do this but decided to have me served at the office and not tell me. Of course this took place the week of Molly's birthday. He then called me so many times I lost count that week and on the day of her birthday. I did not take the calls. When I finally did he was so completely shocked that I was upset. Cause you know how much he loves me ...etc...etc... crap. If y'all knew the entire story you would think it was tv movie! ANyway..the stress of that was the last straw for J and I. Just too much.
Work. Finished all the projects a few months ago but the light at then of the tunnel never came on. And what is worse is that with J and I on again off again and now off...I have no sitter at all. My brother moved and does not live here anymore. I am going to have to hire someone...and the problem is I do NOT TRUST anyone. I have to work late and my department is not going to take the no babysitter thing much longer.
I know the happy life with little stress is out there somewhere right? I thought I would have stumbled upon it by now. It is difficult to be around others that have that right now. It makes me think.."what I have I done wrong?". But I try to think positve and try to remember that things happen for a reason. Maybe this is as good as it gets and I need to just be content.
I am happy that I have Molly. I am sad that she does not have a father but I give her all of me and hope that is enough. She lights up my life and I fall deeper and deeper in love with her every minute of the day. That smile, those eyes...everything..I just lover so much it hurts.
Guess that turned out to be a little dumping. Sorry...feel good that I did not go into everything..those were just the highlights.