Getting Outside My Head

I have been totally swamped the past three weeks.

I wanted to drop a quick note with a few updates.

Molly's first week at the new school is going pretty good so far. She is doing great and seems to really like everyone. They are working with her on her words a great deal so I am happy about that. She can say so much for age..it really is amazing.

She was so loving this past weekend. We spend the entire time together playing and playing and playing. At one moment late Sunday afternoon I was sitting on the floor leaning back on my arms and Miss Molly walked over and laid down on me. She stepped over my legs, sat on my lap and then laid back and put her head on my chest with her arms around me. That was one of the BEST feelings in the entire world. I even shed a tear.

Then later as were playing and laughing, I start to tear up again and tell her how much I love her...a real hallmark moment and what does she do...gets up and walks over to the TV and starts pulling the taps out of the cabinet. A big No! No!. So I had to laugh...this time only though!

12 month check up went well. Dr was extremely impressed with her communication skills. She is now 22lbs and 29 inches long. Yes...she is a short girl. Handled her shots like a pro again. No tears or crying.

She is now off the bottle and formula. Well..I have been giving her one at night but she would be find with out it. But it is the only time she will let me hold her and feed her so I am not reading to give that up yet. She is growing up too fast!

Okay...got to run!

Already having issues with Molly's new school.

I arrived late Wednesday so Molly was sitting up at the front desk. I noticed a scratch on her nose but did not say anything because I assumed an explanation was on her sheet. Once I got home I realized there was no explanation and the scratch was pretty deep. The next morning I asked the teacher and she had no idea. She stated it was not there when she left for the day and to check the front desk for an incident report. The front desk did not have one.

When I picked her up last night I asked the evening teacher. She stated she put Molly up front at 6:00 and it was not there to check the desk for an incident report. I then noticed a huge bump and scratch on Molly's head. When I asked what happened the teacher said she had no idea. That when she came in it was there and to check the front desk for an incident report and ask the morning teacher.

I went to the front the desk and they had no idea about the scratch on Molly's nose and stated the person who took care of her that evening was on vacation the rest of the week. Okay...so maybe Molly did it herself. I was kinda getting okay with that. Then I asked about the bump and the asst director stated there was no incident report. The afternoon infant teacher was there and said.."oh another kid tackled her and she went down head first and hit hard". I asked how she knew about this and she told me the swing teacher saw it and stated to her that Vanessa(eveing teacher) was going to have to do a lot of explaining. Well...Vanessa was trying to blame the morning teacher..she acted like she had no idea what happened. The asst director said she would get to the bottom of this right away and let me know what happened. She stated an incident report should have been completed.

This morning I asked the morning teacher if she knew how Molly got the bump and do you know what she said..."I don't know...I think you brought her in that way." BULLSH*T!!!!!!! I stated that I had not brought her in that way and pretty much left the room.

I spoke to the asst director again and explained the conversation I had just had with Ms Anna. She said she spoke with director last night and that she was going to call me today.

Okay....I am too protective? I think I will be pulling her from this school as well. I know she will get bumps and bruises but I expect them to know how she got them and NOT lie to me.

Your thoughts??

Laptop has been at the office and I have been home. Molly had the flu and now has pnemonia. My dad is with her now and will help out tomorrow as well. I was off all last week without pay and now that she is still sick my dad is helping so I can go to the office.

She is doing better. Hopefully much better by Wednesday. Poor Molly. I feel so bad for her. It was a SCARY week.

Quick update over.

Ya know everytime I give Randy a chance he just crushes me.

The people who know me do not want to hear this so please do not read.

I really want to believe him...so I do and then he always lets me down. How is it that I still love this man. Even now...I am swamped at the office overwhelmed at home with illness and money issues and all I want to do is cry. He still refuses to see Molly. He is ok with seeing me but not her. He has screwed things up for himself and can not afford child support since the final decision and wants me to lower. I want to help him I really do but I just don't know if I can.

I want him to prove the situation my way and he refuses. I feel bad for him and that upsets me because of all the pain he has caused me. All I want is proof and I will lower it but he wants to handle things another way. I just do not trust him.

I don't know what to do so I may do nothing. I am so tired.

Molly is feeling MUCH better!!

We have played hard the last two evenings and she ate really good last night. I did not realize how much I missed her laugh until I heard it for the first time in about 10 days. She has the best laugh in the whole wide world. :)

I just love my girl so much...I can't get enough of her huggs and kisses!

Tomorrow evening I am going to the Dallas Margarita Ball. It is a chairty ball but by invitation only. This a black tie affair and I love to dress up!!

I have two beautiful dresses hanging in my closet but they are both too big!! Can you believe that??? I can't! I keep losing weight and I love it but I really wanted to wear one of those dresses. It is just such an elegant feminine dress. But it is too big. :( So instead of wearing a floor length gown I will be wearing a two piece black knee length dress. It is nice, conservative and elegant but it is not my pretty dress.

I do have this great purse that matches the embroidery on the skirt though. I really excited about the cute purse. :)

So...the people I am going with have rented a nice suite at the hotel so we can all stay over. Margarita fountains will be free flowing all night long so the suite probably is a good idea so no one has to drive. It feels like prom all over.

It will be nice to get all prettied up and go out. I LOVE la ti da kinda things...it make me feel like a girl again. I was honored that this gentelmen asked me to go so that makes me feel good too. No, it is not a date date..just a friends thing but I am still honored.

So...tomorrow...I will have to get my hair done...my nails done...pick up my dress at the tailor....see just like prom! :)

I had a great time!!! Almost had to cancel but worked things out at the last minute.

I was able to get into one of my formal dresses after all and was so happy. This dress was too big up top but a little snug around the middle but somehow by Saturday I lost a few inches and the dress fit perfect! I was sooooo happy!

The company was great and the margaritas were flowing. The after parties were unbelievable. I think we made it back to the room around 4:30am. It really was prom revisited.

It is a MUST for next year!

I am here at the office but as soon as we get off I will be on the road to Roswell, NM. I hope to be out of here by 4:00 but I have a feeling I will be seeing 5:00!!

My step-brother and his family live in Roswell. My niece and nephew are 12 and 10. Happy Birthday Tyler. They always seem to travel here for a holiday so we are going there for a change. It was my idea but after packing last night and realizing I will be in a vehicle with my brother, sis-n-law and 4 and 3 yr old.. and 13 month old I am starting to question my sanity of that idea. :) It will be a blast. Just found out Jessica(sis n law in Roswell) is pregnant! She was about to have surgery and the dr came back and said .."Well...looks like you have to come back in 9 months!". Great way to find out you are having a baby. I am soooo excited for her.

Well...everyone have a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving!

Happy Birthday Sweetie.

I miss you.