Getting Outside My Head

Just have not had much to say these past few weeks.

My thoughts go out to Camille and her family everyday.

Well, the girl is growing. She is now 7 1/2 months old, 17lbs 25 inches.

She is ill right now though. Last Thurs took her to the Dr, said she had a cold. She got worse over the weekend so I took her to the Dr Tues. Dr said she had a viral upper resp infection and....asthma. Yup, thanks to her dear old dad..she has asthma at 7 1/2 months old.

Started breathing treatments. Poor girl has not slept well since last Saturday and she seemed to get worse. Took her back to the Dr today because she kept running a high fever....now she has an ear infection and mild pneumonia.

I feel so bad for her. The antibotic knocked her out so maybe she will be able to sleep tonight. She is such a trooper though.

You know the office has to love me...Came in at 10:00am Monday, out Tues and Wed, came in today at 9:30 left at 1:15 and will be out tomorrow as well.

Keep your fingers crossed that Molly gets better and I still have a job!

She actually slept till 4:00AM!! Ok...had to get up a few times to check on her but for the most part slept till 4:00!!!

Now from 4:00 till 6:00 it was a different story...but at least she got some rest.

So far so good this morning. Cranky but no fever!!!

Molly is much better today! No fever since Thursday and she slept ALL night!!!

Woke up at 7:00am smiling!! She has been her usual happy self today so we are off to go swimming.

A friend is having a gathering at her house so we are going in a few minutes. Now I really do not want to be seen in a swim suit around these people but I really want Molly to enjoy the pool...so I will go in. I will turn a deaf ear to the size 4 crowd.

We have to stop at the store and get Waterbabies sun block. I think the strongest is 45...my girl needs a 105 though! :)

Have a great day!

You know I always thought when I got older I would feel older. Wiser perhaps, mature, not sure but something would change. Maybe it was that I would have all the right answers, stop doing stupid things, not worring about what others think, not needing Daddy's approval....grown up thoughts.

Well for me that is not the case! It is so strange. Many times I still feel like I am 18 or 25. I still make stupid mistakes and want to check with Daddy. It cracks me up most of the time and annoys me the other.

Does anyone else feel this way? Are we all still young at heart?

Just a thought.

Molly's check up went great yesterday! Her lungs were clear and her ear looked great. She was smiling and dancing around for everyone.

She was in such a good mood I took her swimming last night. She had a blast.

This morning I wake up at 3:00am because I can't swallow. That is right! I get up for work and feel like total crapolla! Achy, throat throbbing, can't swallow, just plain drained.

I am thinking to myself..."this can not be happening...it just really can not be the life I a meant to lead...when will this stop?"

It is now 4:14pm and I still feel like crapolla. Can not get into see ANY of my doctors or the ones they referred me too. So, if this(feels like strep) does not get better I will have to go to the ER tomorrow for a darn culture and pay $100.00

PLEASE let me feel better tomorrow. I can not have strep...I can not miss ANY more work.

Camille says everything happens for a reason and all this may be happening so that something good down the road can happen. I really hope so. I have tried so hard to be positive. I am so worn out.

My bright side is ....My Molly is feeling better! She is happy and smiling and laughing and singing. Music to my ears!!! It is the best thing ever!

Just wanted to say "Hello" to my lurker.

I have been noticing that I have a lurker, but I do not think they know that I know they are visiting.

Comments are always open, but I guess you choose just to lurk.

I am feeling much better today. YEA....no strep!

I never could get into a Dr and struggled through the days at the office and I am doing better. It must have been a visus. I am still having problems swallowing and my glands are swollen and sore but over all I feel 10 times better than the past two days!

Great timing since my niece and nephew from Roswell are spending the day and night with me Saturday. I told my brother NOT to tell my dad I was not feeling good....BUT he did. Dad called last night and they had told the kids I was sick and could not see them. WHATEVER! They worry too much.

We plan to get all the cousins(Monica 11, Tyler 9, Deanna 4, Shawn 3 and Molly 8 months..yep 8 whole months!) picture made in the morning and I will take Monica and Tyler to the movies. After that everyone will come over to my place to swim and grill out. It should be a blast. Molly just loves her cousins and they love her.

Well...kinda got off the subject....Over all Molly and I are both feeling much much better! :)

WoW..I really feel so much better.

I am looking forward to spending time with my nieces and nephews. Other family...well a different story but I refuse to let that get in the away of fun!

I am so ready to go pick up Molly. I am really missing her at the moment. I can't wait to give her big cheek kisses and listen to her giggle in delite!

She is so spoiled at day care I am surprised she is happy when I get there...but she always is. In the morning she pushes me away as if to say, "leave Mommy...I am at school..go away!" In the afternoon though as soon as she sees or hears me she starts kicking her legs, waving the arms and her smile could just jump off her face it is so big. What a great feeling.

So...I am counting down the minutes to a fun weekend!

Hope everyone enjoys the weekend!

We had a GREAT weekend!!!!

We took all the kids for pictures on Sat morning and that went wonderful. Then my father and step-mother kept Molly while I took Monica and Tyler to lunch and a movie. They are from a small town so I took them to Rainforest Cafe and they thought it was "soooo cool". They were amazed that the theater has 30 movie screens. We saw "The Lizzie McGuire Movie". It was thier choice...but ya know I ended up liking the movie. It was cuties but good.

Around 6:00 the entire family came over to my place and we went swimming. Molly LOVED it!!! She loved going under the water as well. She cried when we got out!! My father said I was swimming under the water at 10 months...she might be following in my foot steps. My younger niece and nephew, who are usually afraid of the pool, loved it as well. They were swimming with just floaties on thier arms! 4 and 3...they were so cute!!!

Monica and Tyler spent the night, Deanna(4) was NOT happy that she could not stay, and then in the morning we all sent to breakfast. Monica and Tyler left early that afternoon to catch the plane back to Roswell, NM.

It was a WONDERFUL visit! Just way too short!

Aunt Mill and Uncle Josh had Molly and I over for dinner last night. It was fantasic!

Josh kept apologizing that it was not fancy but it was fancy to me! I never get to eat out and I never cook so it was wonderful. See Camille's site for the menu. Molly even was able to participate. Aunt Mill made Molly potatoes of her own(no garlic). She was a little surpised at first and then loved them. This was her FIRST real food!

Aunt Mill had Molly laughing so hard. Molly exhausted herself laughing. It was cracking us up as well!

It was nice to spend a little time with Josh and Camille. I miss them.

Thanks for dinner guys....and Josh the cake....yummmm...I wish would have taken a piece to go! :)

I am not sure how I feel about you reading my site. I find it interesting that you are reading the posts. You must notice that so much is missing from what is really going on in my life. So do you continue to read to see if I will eventually tell all? I am not sure what you are doing.

I find it even more interesting that you view so often. You must want to know about what is going on in my life yet you do not contact me. I left it with you. You wrote you had plenty to say but you would not and I responded for you to contact me when you were ready to speak your mind.

I understand this is a public site, that anyone can read or view what I post. But I must say I feel extremely violated that you have been reading this site for so long without contacting me.

Not sure I want you to contact me....I am just confused that you are reading. I am hurt, anrgy, amused and partly numb.

That is all I have to say for the moment.

Ya know my girl just does not want to crawl. I have had issues but I think I am finally over it.

The other night at Camille's she took one knee step but that was it. Well last night she pulled up on me. She was sitting and just grabbed my arms then my shirt and pulled herself up to a standing position. She did it tonight as well.

Who needs to crawl....she will just walk instead!

Molly is something else ya know. I have my hands full now so I do not even want to imagine the future.

I love my day care and they LOVE Molly. She is by far the favorite. I know many mommies may say that but it really is true. This is a good and bad thing. Good - she is taken care of and gets lots of love. Bad - She runs that room! She is sooooooo spoiled at school!

The routine in the morning is that I put her at the table and Miss Stormy gets her cereal ready and Miss Brenda feeds her. Well....if they do not do this fast enough for the Queen Bee she yells at them!! Can you believe that? I was shocked the first time I saw this last week. And they jumped! The rushed. I told them NOT to do that...do not cater to her if she acts like that because she does not do that at home. Yes, she can through a fit but I do not allow it or reward her for it.

Later that week...I was told Molly grabbed Miss Brenda's cookie and Miss Brenda was afraid to take it away and so was Miss Stormy so they let her play with it till she was bored. Ok....who is in control here??? Too funny!

This morning....Queen Bee looked at Miss Brenda, balled up her fists and then let out a screen because Miss Brenda was talking to me and not feeding her! So what does Miss Brenda do...feeds her faster. They are creating a monster!

If I tell Molly to stop she will but as soon as I leave she runs that castle! It cracks me up but will be BIG trouble down the road. I keep telling them not to play into her...I will have to put my foot down soon.

She is such a cutie though!!!

Molly had her first altercation at school yesterday and she has a black eye to prove it!

Another little girl(who should be in the toddler room) came up behind Molly and tried to take her pacifier. Her pacifier was attached to a pacifinder(a strap that one end attaches to clothing and the other holds the pacifier)and the pacifinder was clipped to her blouse. When the girl could not get the pacifier she grabbed Molly's face with one hand and pulled back and pulled on the pacifier with the other hand.

Molly just let out a disgusted sound and tried to push her away. The teachers pulled the girl off and the girl got mad because she could not have the pacifier. They said Molly just kept playing. Her eye was swelling and she did not seem to care.

Of course the teachers were EXTREMELY upset. One teacher started crying and the other told the director right away. They placed ice on her face for awhile so by the time I picked her up the swelling was down but the eye was black.

She has one perfect purple/black nail print under her eye. The skin from her eye to the mark is purple as well. My girl is tuff...cause it looked awful!!!

Today it is more purple than black. Her first black eye and she did not even cry!

The little girl who did this just started day care. She has never been in this type of environment before and they do not think she has been around other children too much. She should be in the toddler room due to her age but she is not walking yet so she was placed in the infant room. Well...looks like she is about to graduate from what I was told this morning. I guess this is not the first time something like this has happened. She is a cute little girl just to aggressive for the infants I think. Her mom called in and said she would not be at school today.

Well....that is the story of the day care brawl. My tough little baby!

Ok...I am so over this incident. It was a baby thing..it is going to happen from time to time.

The day it happened the Miss Cynthia told me she had opened the gate to the toddler room to wash a bottle and one of the toddler girls came over and she was the one that hurt Molly. She named the girl as well. The only thing that I thought was stange was that this little girl never plays with Molly and the director had said it was a "playmate" of Molly's.

The next morning Miss Brenda, who spoils Molly, said it was a child from the infant room not the toddler room and she tells me who it is. Then the other morning person came in, who was there when it happened, told me the same thing as Miss B. Still no big deal. Things like this happen.

When I picked up Molly that afternoon I asked the Miss C why she lied to me. She pretty much did not answer and then said she was not in the room and the director is the one who told her who it was. She was uncomfortable and wanted out of the conversation. I left it alone but stated it was no big deal and I did not understand how she could blame another child. The conversation was light not a bad tone.

Ok...this morning. Miss Stormy comes back from vacation and asked what happened to Molly's eye. In the chat she askes where Miss Brenda was and she tells her that she was already off and that it happened in the afternoon and that it would not have happened it she was there. So Miss Stormy says.."Oh so Miss Cynthia let it happen(kidding)" and I respond "I have no idea..the story keeps changing..she tells me she was here and then she says she wasn't here and she told me it was a different child". Miss Brenda speaks up and makes a face and says "She was here and she saw what happened". She gave Miss Stormy a look...you know the kind where two people have discussed someone previously and this just added to it.

Ya know...I just find it strange that she would lie. She keeps saying that we are alike so we would react the same way so she did not want to tell me who it was. I disagree. Some things are going to happen. I am not happy about it but what am I going to do. I know some parents get out of control but I am not like that at all.

I have one idea why she lied but I do not want to go there...I do not want to believe that is the reason. Anyway.....I just want to be done with it.

I am glad Miss Stormy is back. I will not bring it up to Miss Cynthia again.

Oh...and Molly would look at Miss Brenda this morning and through her fit but ONLY Miss Brenda. She did not do it to Miss Stormy or me. It was too funny!

Deanna(4) and Shawn(3) spent the night Friday. We had a blast. We had Micky D's and watched Treasure Planet and Hook. Molly got real upset that they had Micky D's and she did not. She just does not understand that she is a baby...the girl has NO teeth...none. So...I gave in and let her suck on a french fry but had to take it away when she bit part of it off. She was not a happy camper.

The kids had not seen Hook(one of my favs) so it was great to watch them. They loved it! Kept asking all kinds of questions and then asked to watch it the next day.

We had a ball. Molly just loves her cousins.