Getting Outside My Head

I had a great weekend.

Dinner at my friends Thurs was wonderful. I enjoyed talking with adults again!

Left early Friday morning to go to my Dad's. I enjoyed having all the kids together. My brother's children are great. Deanna(3) just loves Molly. She wanted to hold her and feed her...she looked after her like a big sister. It was adorable. My sister-n-law was amazing! She feed Molly and took care of her so I could take a nap and also just so I could sit watch TV or talk and not have to worry about Molly. She was so great with her!!

Of course I am pretty tired...but well worth it!

oh...my pies turned out pretty darn good too!

Hope everyone had a great holiday as well.

Ok..had an appt today so Molly had her first babysitter or should I say Mommy had her first panic attach. ..lol..

Everything was fine..it was just that after the appt I pull out my cell to call and check before running a few errands and...MY BATTERY WAS DEAD!!! Every bad thing you could imagine was going through my head. I then tried to call from a payphone and the sitter did not answer!!! I called from two different places but she was looking at caller ID. Since it was not my cell she did not answer.

Only ran two of the errands(short ones) and hightailed it home. The entire time I kept saying to myself.."Everything is ok..stop worring." :)

Oh well...little Miss Molly was A Ok. She was snoozing away when I got home.

Have I mentioned lately how beautiful she is??? Well she is! :)

I took some pic to be developed today. Camille and I should get together this weekend so she will either take some new ones on the digital or scan what I give her.

I am really excited to post new pics. She has changed so much.

I really need to get some equipment or start paying Camille!!

I just picked up the pictures from when Molly was born.

AAAAHHHHH! She is getting too big!!!

She is so little in those pictures. Now yes, she is 2lbs plus bigger now but ....I can't belive how small she looks in those pics compared to today. It actually brought tears to my eyes.

She is growing up too fast! :(

Ok...so I am at my Dr's appt today and I see this bad blonde bleach job with bad black clothes and cheap knock off purse who looks like she just got out of bed from a night out at a meat market club and came to the appt. As I can not keep my eyes off her because I am thinking.."Do you have a mirror and do you realize it is not the 80's anymore", I am shocked to discover I know her!!!

Now lets say...I remember her from my bar days in the 80's.(Ok so those of you who know me...know how old I am...I was at the bars WAY too YOUNG). She looked exactly the same! I could not belive it. She has that yellow/orange blonde hair..long in the back..big bangs in front. She was wearing obvisouly cheap knock off clothing and shoes. The thing is...she really looked the same!

I do not remember her name I just remember that she did get around a lot. I always felt sorry for her because she seemed to me to have such low self esteem. She was quiet and would leave the club with differet guys all the time.

She always looked ragged out, strung out..etc. Heavy black make-up around the eyes etc. I felt bad for her again...she looked so sad, unhappy.

I know this sounds like I am putting her down and I guess I am... I do hope she is happy though...and the vibe she was putting out is wrong.

But come on girl...get with the times. She still hade that 80's slut look. I am sure she not that person. And at least get good knock offs.

I know I am an awful person.

Hi. Its Camille popping in to tell you that we are moving. Husband is getting a new host so Shelby's site will be down for the weekend.

Well...had to take Baby Girl to the Dr today. She has a cold. She has not been feeling well since Thurs..seemed to be doing better Sat but Sunday and yesterday she was worse.

There really is nothing I can do..it has to run its course. Poor girl. I feel so bad for her and it is tough on me as well. I am still breastfeeding and I am having to feed her every hour during the day because she gets to fussy while she eats. She can not breathe while eating so she fights it.

I hope she feels better soon. It has to be so frustrating...and she just gets so tired from all the crying and fighting. :(

Ok...she is asleep right now..so I am going to try and nap. I am sure she will wake up as soon as I lay down...that is usually how it works.

I actually went out shopping with Molly. We were gone for about 3 hours. She did great..so did I. We went to two stand alone stores..malls are just too crowded and I did want her around people.

Kept her completely covered and she pretty much slept the entire time. Dr. said to get her out..just not pass her around to be held.

So...I am venturing out some. I am so paranoid. I am affraid she will start to cry and everyone will stare. Camille and I went out to lunch last Sunday. First time to eat out with Molly. She did great. I started to calm down about half way through lunch.

I will get better..right...yeah I will I am sure.

I watched Monsters, Inc. and The Rookie.

I really liked Monsters, Inc. It cracked me up. I was surprised to learn that the movie was about monsters in childrens closets. It was the monsters job to scare children. It was funny and had a great ending. I wondered if it would scare children..but my 3 yrd old niece loves it. I would like to get that movie.

The Rookie was ok. I enjoyed it and it did move me to tears but thought the writing could have been better. I guess I would have liked to see the story developed better. Overall though, I liked it.

Good classic Christmas shows on TV tonight. We will be front in center to watch. I can't wait for Molly to be old enough to enjoy these shows. Hope they will still be around.

Of course you do! You've all just been waiting on me to get in gear. Well, wait no more. Here are 6 new pictures of Miss Molly. Enjoy!

I have not read many blogs lately so I thought I would stop by a few. Jane and Richard apparently have gotten married. They posted a few of thier wedding pictures and they are wonderful.

The black/white pics really moved me. The photographer has a great eye. The "Group Shot" and the "Dance" I would live to blow up to wall size pics and hang.

They are beautiful.

It is almost Christmas. Buying for only the kids this year...short on funds due to the baby and no salary for 12 weeks while in leave. I really want to give gifts to others but need to save the money.

I love giving gifts. I have framed a few pictures of Miss Molly that I will give as gifts. I know people understand..but it sucks.

On another note..I was thinking about how much my life has changed from last year at this time. All I was thinking about was which party to go to and what bottle I wine to give as a gift at each party. I revolved around drinking....sad I know. I am happy that I have my little Molly. Life really has meaning now and it did not this time last year.

I hope everyone has a great holiday.

There is a dead bird on my porch. Isn't that a bad sign? I am extremely superstitious.

I feel sad for the bird. I wonder how it got there. I wonder how it died.

I then think..this is bad luck. What will happen. Is it a sign?

Please do not be a sign of bad luck. Please.

I wish it was gone. I just can not go to the front door and look to see if it is gone. I could barely look at it when I saw it while backing out of the garage. I tried to convince myself it was not a bird. When I returned home though I took a quick glance. It is a bird.

Please think happy thoughts for me.

On Friday Molly had her 2 month check up. She is now 10 lbs 4 oz and 22 inches long. Dr. said her weight is finally catching up with her height. She now at 25 % tile.

Then she informs me she will be getting FOUR shots. I thought just one like last time. Poor Molly...she was all happy baby...smiling and playing.....

Four shots later no more happy baby. The nurse was quick but little Molly held her breathe and turned a deep shade of red..it seemed like forever to me! I just kept thinking...BREATHE...PLEASE Take a Breath.

I has tears in my eyes and then became light headed and dizzy. How funny is that!!! The nurse turned to me and said, "You are turning extremely pale..sit day and take some deep breathes."

I crack myself up sometimes. I can not believe I got so upset from watching it.

Molly got over it pretty quick though and was fine. A little fussy early evening but then fine the rest of the evening.

I need to start toughing up the ol skin I think. :)

Miss Molly in taking a LONG nap so I thought I would stop in to wish everyone a Wonderful Christmas!!

I am going to a Christmas eve party at a friends and then on to my brother's house. I will spend the night and watch my niece and nephew wake to see what Santa has brought them. I can't wait!!!

Again...

Everyone have a great and safe Christmas!!

The link to pics is messed up right now. Should be corrected soon.

Molly and I had a good Christmas. The Christmas Eve party was a great deal of fun. Molly did wonderfully with being passed around. A few people said she looked just like me. I do not see it...but I am with her all day. I will have to get a pic with both of us up soon to see what y'all think.

I am babysitting New Year's Eve. My brother's children, 3 and 2. I it will be fun. I wanted to be with Molly anyway so this is even better...I get to be with all the kids.

Ok...for those who know me...can you believe I just wrote that???!!!

:)

I will be returning to the office on either the 13th or 20th. It seems like forever and it seems like yesterday.

If I go back the 13th..that is only one more week. I just can not imagine leaving Molly. I also am not looking forward to how exhausting it will be.

I am really attached to her...hell I can not even put her in her crib in her room yet!!! She still sleeps in the bassinet/cradle next to my bed. I like being able to roll over and take a look at her. Make sure she is ok and sometimes just watch her sleep. I am still in the mode of.."Is she breathing..." then touching or waking her to make sure. In fact I just did that a minute ago... lol..

I look forward to being in the land of the living adults but would much rather stay at home with my baby girl.

I hope everyone has a safe and exciting new year!!!

Have a drink for me!!!

:)