Getting Outside My Head

Thank you Camille for all your help.

My wonderful friend came over yesterday and helped me pack my loft. She packed the entire kitchen. The cabinets are completely empty!! It helped me so much not to have to deal with packing all that glass. She packed other areas of the place as well.

I packed the bar glasses, one wardrobe box and the bathroom and was exhausted. I am so tired today. I was hoping to have more energy at 5 months pregant...not yet!

I still have packing to do, but mostly just clothes. I still have this weekend to take care of things, but definitely would have been behind it had not been for my best friend!!

Thanks for all your support and help!!! You are the BEST!

This week my weight has really been bothering me. I am starting to gain weight. I know I supposed to, I am pregnant..I know. But it is REALLY bothering me.

The pants that were too big two weeks ago, then fit around my tummy but still big in the butt last week are now kinda tight around my belly. I am NOT ready for this. Can I change my mind?

Now is the time it would be nice to have the father of the baby around to share all my changes with and to ensure me I am still pretty and not fat. Randy was great with all that. He always accepted me for who I was regardless of weight. He always told me I was beautiful and looked great. I miss that.

I stepped on the scale this morning and now am afraid to eat. I do not want to gain back the 25lbs I lost. I am slowly doing that. If someone could guarantee me the weight would only be in my tummy I would feel much better. It is that 'all over' weight I am worried about.

Then today I was checking Susan's blog and she was having the weight issue as well. She is not pregnant, but reading her blog was like reading my mind. I completely understood everything she said.

I hope this passes. It is becoming very depressing. I am going to have to go buy clothes now and I do not need to be spending any money.

Maybe I am just having a blue day.

Ok, well yesterday I blogged that I was gaining too much weight.....well my Dr. just laughed at me!

She said for my stage of pregnancy that I was under weight. She stated that I needed to eat more and rest more and to REMEMBER that I am not a normal pregnancy. That I was going to be more tired and need more rest than other pregnant women.

It is really frustrating. I feel like I eat too much and here she is telling me...."NOT AT ALL!" The nurse Dee, who I really like, was extremely concerned. Dr. Motta was not as concerned just said that next month if I had not gained more weight that she would just lay on the complications that could occur from not eating and resting enough.

She stated "she could not force me to eat". That statement alone made me feel like a child. I really feel like I am taking care of myself, but I guess I am not. I told her I was eating healthy and she simply replied, "I would rather you not". She wants me to eat anything regardless of calories or fat.

She told me how much she weighed at 9 months and I was speechless. We are the same height and that to me was WAY to HEAVY!!! I just keep thinking.."well you are married it is different for you" I am single...and for single women weight is a HUGE issue. At least for me.

I will try harder. I do not want to harm my baby, it is just really hard.

I forgot to add ...the baby's heartbeat was really strong.

Usually Dee(the nurse) has to hunt around to find it, not this time. She put the device on my belly and right off we heard the heart just beating away. Dee was even impressed.

So that is really good news!!!! :smile

Hey, its me, Camille, jumping in Shelby's blog for a second to insert some code...(sounds like I know what I'm doing anyway)

I went to lunch with a friend of mine from my previous employment today. He is just the best guy.

Well, he just cracked up watching me eat. I had fried shrimp with french fries. I asked for a side of ranch and a side of horseradish. I added most of the horseradish to the cocktail sauce. I then preceded to eat my shrimp with the spicy sauce(could have mixed more in) and then on to the fries that I dipped in ranch and then the cocktail sauce. I, of course, ate all of mine. He did not finish his fries and offered them to me. Ok...I really tried to hold back..but just could not. I finished off his fries too! :lol

He just stared at me. One, he said he had never seen me eat that much...two, he could no believe I added all the horseradish. He just watched me eat and smiled. It was too funny!!!

I just love Dave!

Well, I leave in about 10min to go to my doctor's appt. The big high risk sonogram is TODAY!

I am so nervous. I am not sure why but I really am. I have butterflies in my tummy and really nauseous. My friends are laughing at me!

I get too worked up sometimes.:lol

Ok....I will blog when I get back!!!

It is with out a doubt a GIRL!!!!!

Camille and I both were convinced it was a boy until today. As we both walked to our car, Camille at her office in Addison and myself at my office in Dallas, we had a feeling it was a girl. When I walked into the doctor's office she said, "I think it is a girl!" and I in return stated the same. We both thought that was pretty weird that we had the same thought. Well, we were right!!

The high risk sonogram was really cool! It was so clear. I can not wait to get home and watch the tape!!

My Molly will be here in no time!!! WOW...a baby girl! My little Molly! :smile

Its me, Camille again. Shelby. Maybe these people can help you with picking out that middle name for Molly! :rofl [link via Robyn]

Twice lately I have been invited over for BBQs. Now, let me first say I really enjoyed both and the food was good. However, the food was not great.

Both families had gas grills that they were praising over. Saying how great and wonderful they are and how much better than a 'regular' grill. Well, I have to disagree. The food had no flavor. None. It was easy to start up but the flavor of 'grilled' food was gone.

I like coals and wood chips much better.

What are your thoughts?

Ok...this is kinda gross...so...

I took my first pre-natal vitamin today. Now I keep burping this disgusting taste...GROSSSSSS!

Ok, I just told my friend Nancy about the baby. I worked with her for several years and we still keep in touch. I hold her opinions in HIGH regard. I was extremely nervous....but for no reason of course.

She was so excited and sooo supportive. I feel so much better now. A friend of mine kept telling me if I did not tell her he was going to. Well, he called her today and asked if she had to talked to me and Nancy told him she kept missing me. Well, while we were on the phone he called me...too funny! I did not pick up. Nancy and I just laughed!!

It is amazing what other see in you that you can not see yourself. It is very encouraging and uplifting.

Thanks Nancy.

Ok I am going to be in trouble next week after I move.

I live minutes away from my office. I get up between 7:30 and 7:45 and get to work by 8:30am. I go to bed around 9:30 or 10:00 and it is everything I can do to get my lazy butt up at 7:30.

When I move I will be about 15 miles away from the office. 20 minutes with no traffic, so about 45 mins to 1 hour with traffic! I will have to get up at least by 6:30am.

I know that is only one hour....but after the baby is born...lets just say...I will be drinking some major strong coffee in the morning!!!

What was I thinking!!! :smile

Ok, about two weeks or more ago several new people moved to my floor. I have no idea who they are but one unit cooks up the most disgusting smelling food ever!!!

They cook this crap every night!! As soon as you get off the elevator the smell just covers you. It is everything I can do not to gag. It smells like bad ground meat cooking.

I am so glad that smell was not around two months ago when I was throwing up every ten minutes...I really would have been in trouble!!!

Last night I was pretty much losing it! URGH!

I just ordered my first 'real' maternity clothes from The Gap. They look really cute. I can't wait to try them on.

I'll let you know how they fit!

(ok, I am still not really showing yet but am afraid I will get there quick!)

I have pregnant belly itch today. :lol

It is kinda funny to me. It is just when your stomach itches from the stretching. I feel like an old lady scratching her belly in public! ..lol..

My friend, Tanya, just gave me a baby gift!!

A pink gingham photo album with a pink bibb that reads "Baby", an Anne Geddes Baby Record Book and a Berkely Bear with sweater that reads "My 1st Bear" in pink.

I love all of it!! The bear is soooooo cute!! WoW...this is really happening!

And ...someome, who knows I am pregnant, called me Momma today. :smile

Well, it is over. I moved this past Saturday.

Huge THANKS to Camille. I could not have gotten through it without her! She is the best friend ever.

Not only did she help me pack before the move, she came over at 9:00am Saturday, brought breakfest and then helped me upack at the new location. She set up the entire kitchen and more. How great is that!!! Thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you!!

I was so exhausted yesterday that I did NOTHING!

My parents came over and cleaned the old place and helped move things and upack.

Thanks to everyone!

You know it really bothers me when people can not AT LEAST try and figure something out on their own!! No, they have to call another department and say they need something..provding absolutley NO details!!!!.

IF YOU ARE NOT SURE HOW TO DO SOMETHING..ASK SOMEONE IS YOUR OWN DEPARTMENT FIRST!!!!!!!!

I get tired of holding the same person's hand over and over!!! Get a clue!!!:angry

Carla, my friend and co-worker, just told me she was going to visit her partner(if you can call it that...they are having problems) in Chicago where the person lives. Well, I just had to add my two cents in and then told her it was her life and she could do what she wanted and I would sit and smile as I have done this past year.

Well...by the end of the conversation I opened my big mouth again ...and she said "TALKING NOT SMILING!":talker

It cracked me up!!!!:lol

Well after 20 mins of trying to find something to wear to work this morning...I think I will give in and stop by a maternity store after work today.

I am wearing clothes that are too big for me so they fit around my tummy and are just big everywhere else. The ol tummy is starting to grow so I am down to only 4 or 5 pairs of pants and a hand ful of shirts.(The chest is getting out of control)

I will look for some regular blouses first and then move to the maternity clothes.

I am just so private. I have not really told anyone at the office I am pregnant so they have no idea. I lost so much weight and just continued to wear my big clothes that they think I have just not gone shopping yet for new clothes.

I guess it is time to come out of the closet! :smile

I decided to have a cup of decaf coffee today. Instead of drinking it though...I wore it!!!!!:lol

I knocked the darn thing right into my lap!!! Thank goodness is was warm and not hot. I was wearing a light blue linen shirt and black lined pants. It hit right under my breast and down. COMPLETELY soaked!!!!:lol The lining in the pants was stcking to me...it was so GROSS!! I do not think I have EVER spilt coffee on me like that before.

Tanya and I walked over to Target and bought me some clothes to wear. So, I am wearing my FIRST pair of maternity pants. Black capri pants.

Yup, that is right! I almost shed a tear. Tanya told me I needed a reality check...that I am pregnant and people are gonna see....:smile

The larger size of reg clothes was too big and the next size smaller was too small so I had to go with materinty. Now, these are too big the belly but at least they fit my butt and legs. I do not look so much like a big cow...now just a smaller girl with a fat belly!

My...My...I am having a baby and losing my mind at the same time!:lol

I am a TV OHOLIC!! I just moved and waited to set up cable in the hopes that the extend was free. Well....it was not!

All I get downstairs are channels 5 and 8 and they are hard to see through the snow. Upstairs I get 4,5,8 and 11. But that is not enough!!!

I can not get ahold of the cable rep for our area!!! Cable guy..please call me back!!!

I NEED MY CABLE!!!!

Ok....install is scheduled Saturday morning!

That is one item I can take off my list of things to stress about.:smile

I actually went to the grocery store yesterday. When walking to my car, I entered the crosswalk and was almost across the drive path and a SUV pulls out of one of the lanes onto the drive path and then honks the horn at me to hurry across the walk.

How rude! One, I was in the crosswalk and in Texas pedestrians have the right of way. Two, I was almost out of the cross walk!!! I was so annoyed!

I did not flinch when she honked and certainly did not hurry. :angry

It's Friday!!! I am so happy! Not only do I get to sleep in...I get CABLE tomorrow!!!!:smile

I saw Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood yesteray. It was slow but I enjoyed it. Cried through most of it...did not realize how close to home it would hit. I really had no idea what it was about.

Ashley Judd was great. I was impressed with her range.

They showed a preview for Oparh Book Club "White Oleander". That looked like a great tissue movie as well.

I forget to mention that one of the characters in the move is named "Conner McGill"

Well, that was the name I had chosen if I was going to have a boy! Pretty weird I thought!

Genghis Grill(Mongolian BBQ) on Lower Greenville opens back up next Tuesday!!!!:smile I can't wait!!!

The club next to it burned down 2/14/2002 and GG suffered major damage. Carla(friend from work) and I would eat there about 3 or 4 times a week...no really!!!!

Woo Hoo!!! I am excited! Oh..and they are opening a new location down the street from my new place!!!

Ok...well I finally got my cable installed Saturday. They were only an hour late. Later that evening I decided to watch a movie on STARZ only to find out that I did not have access to that channel. I tried several channels to also find I did not have access.

I called the AT&T Broadband to inform them that an error had occured. The rep on the phone then explained to me that I only had HBO with the Silver package and not all the STARZ, ENCORE and handful of other pay channels. I explained that not only had I had ALL of these channels when I lived in Dallas but it was also $6.00 cheaper and the rep on the phone when I ordered stated that ALL those channels were included!

She then starts to inform me that in Las Colinas(where I am now) that they do not offer all those channels in the Silver package, that you have to pay extra. And that STARZ would cost additional $6.00, but she would do me a favor and give it to me for $5.00 for 6 months. Well...I was extremely irritated!! I replied to her, "So, you are telling me that because I live in Las Colinas now AT&T thinks I can afford to pay more for less product??" She basically said ...YES.

I know it was not her fault..but this is absurd!! Pay more for less!!! And what really gets me is that when I ordered the install and stated that I was not happy with the $6.00 increase the rep apologized but made it real clear that not only was I getting the exact SAME channels, but also 40 new channels. Now...these new channels turned out to be all sports...who cares really..but she stated clearly the SAME channels.

I am calling AT&T Broadband today to speak to a manager. I am the type of person who will just pay and shut up...but this has hit a nerve.

AT&T offers different channels at different prices based on the zip code, as the rep explained, I would think there would be a law against that. I know in some businesses you can not over charge due to area...I guess they have found a way out...but I have to say something to them!:angry

Ok, a friend of mine lets her 9 and 13 year old watch PG13 and R movies. She has always done this. Her son's birthday was Sunday(turned 13) and she mentioned to me that she refused to buy him Eminem due to his lyrics but was going to by Ludicris. So, I was like..well they are the same thing...both have harsh lyrics. So, she decided to get him a NOW Music Cd.

Here is the thing...if you are going to let your kids watch anything they want on TV and at the movies.....why are you censoring the music??? And for that fact censoring and not censoring music that you know nothing about.

I don't know...but in my opinion it seems as though she is sending a mixed message. It is ok to watch the stuff but not listen to the music..?

He is going to listen to it no matter what..so I would think..talk to the child and explain right and wrong..values..etc. So, now he wants it even more and probably does not really understand all the lyrics.

I think she should be more involved with the kids...what they are watching and listening too. Her kids tell me more about their social life because I ask and listen. I stay out of it, but just thought it was interesting that is was ok to buy one CD and not the other.

Your Thoughts?

Well...I have ALL my channels!!!! :smile

I am happy again!!!!

The best test ever about absolutely nothing! Camille saw it at Julie's site and I saw it at Camille's. Thanks guys!

This baby girl of mine has been REALLY active the past two days. Just movin and shaken. When she gets bigger I am going to be in big trouble!!

I am so tired today...and just as I get comfortable...Kick!..Kick!..Kick!! Punch..Punch..Punch!!

Yes, baby girl I can feel you.:smile

Went to dinner with friends and their family last night. Did not get home till after 10:00pm. I am really tired now. It was everything I could do to get out of bed this morning. I need the weekend to get here fast!

The men at dinner all seemed very interested in seeing my belly. I am still wearing regular clothes so you could not tell I was pregnant. They would just come over and try to lift my sweater or just put hands on me. I was NOT used to it at all. I am not ready for all the attention. It was not bad..I am just really into my own space...and I am affraid that space is getting smaller.

And yes, they were all about my growing bra size. It was the topic of conversation several times. You know it is really uncomfortable when all the men are looking at your chest and exicted about them getting even bigger than they already are.:lol

My mind is wandering today. Extremely hard to focus. Watching the fathers with their daughters last night got to me. It is all I can think about. I really hope Randy decides to be a father to our daughter at some point. I don't want her to miss out on anything. Maybe it is the best..the way it is..but I am still hoping he will change his mind.

Oh well....can't dwell. Life changes eveyday.

Ok...this one car would only go 30mph! Now yes, it was bumper to bumper for a little while but then our lane let up and she STILL went 30 mph!

I could not get over to pass her....so everyone in the other lane would move over to ours after passing her. What was she thinking???

Oh well...I was enjoying Howard Stern...just gave me more time to listen.

but I really think I am going to come out of the closet next week. It took me 35 mins to figure out what to wear today!! All my blouses look horrible! I just look fat instead of pregnant.

Now everyone back me up on this....I need encourgement to wear clothes that show the pregnancy and materinty clothes. I think I will have to go SPEND money again. The maternity shirts are still so big so I think I will try and find a few outfits that will work but will show my belly. You know that shows I am pregnant..not fat! I saw several pregnant women yesterday and they all looked so cute. I wanna look cute too.

I just hate the attention. I SO need to get over this! I am sure it will be better once everyone knows and attn slows down.

Oh, and my Dad called last night and during the conversation mentioned how BIG my mother was with me. We are both short so he said.."you have nowwhere to go but out..you gonna be huge".. Thanks Dad.:sad

He thinks it will be cute....I DON"T THINK SO!

After reading this article I decided I had to blog about it on my site. Josh listed the 9ths Courts decision yesterday and I commented that I had no problem with the decision to take "under God" out of the Pledge. I know this is not the popluar opinion.

But to see how the Senate responded today was really shocking to me. I may be alone on this...but it sounds like the holy rollers on a cursade. The pledge was amended in 1954 to add "under God" so to me it was not originally meant to be there for a reason. People came here for religious freedom.

I think separation of church and state is extremely important. I have never taken a stance, that is to protest, but am re-thinking that today.

I do believe in something, God..a higher power..I do. However, I do not think because the majority of people believe in God that it should be part of state and school. There are many religions in America...I think that is a good thing..religious freedom! Who is our government to decide that people need to believe in "God". That word is not generic. It is not used to represent every religion.

As a child I choose not to say "Under God" and will continue as an adult. I do not think it is disrepectful. I support America and ALL American, not just the people who believe in God.

Again, I know my opinion is not popluar. I would like to read your opinion so please comment.

I think Molly is doing the Hokey Pokey this morning.:smile

She is all over the place...I wouldn't think there is that much room in there...but she making the best of it!

My little dancing girl!

Ok, so I realize when a single woman, who does not discuss her personal life at office at all, becomes pregnant many questions enter your mind. However, these are questions that should NOT be asked. Yes, in your mind you are asking, "Who is the father?", "Is she getting married?", "This must have been an accident.", but YOU DO NOT ASK THESE QUESTIONS..it is RUDE!

Well, I finally gave in and told this chick at the office...(smiling)"I am having a baby!"(smile) her first response..."This is a bad thing right??"

Now I expected this from her in a way because she has no manners and always says the wrong thing..but damn how rude is that!!

I know it is something I have to face but crap...I would NEVER say that out loud!

I told her that "If you are having a baby it is always a GOOD thing". And she said "Not always for some." My response, "Well yes, but that would be their own personal business not something they would discuss with co-workers". She just did not get it.

Oh well, it is over now...but my blood is still boiling. I just think all people should have good manners...but they DON"T!